7 Tips To Build Your Confidence As A New Mum
It's okay if you're not okay.
21 June 2017
As rewarding a miracle as it is, giving birth to a child comes with months of doubts, low self-esteem, hormonal imbalances and depression. And it’s not the pregnancy months we’re talking about.
It’s the months AFTER the birth that truly tests your confidence because now — you’re not just responsible for your own welfare — but for the existence of an adorable human being.
If you are a new mum or know someone who’s fighting through her initial postpartum days, here are a few tips that will help you through the new phase of your life.
1. Tune out the unwanted advices
Expect to get parenting lectures from people who aren’t even parents but don’t let them affect you.
These unwanted lectures, although given with good intentions, turn annoying and unconsciously make you feel inadequate. The key is to learn to filter out the useless stuff and keep what can really help you.
2. Remember: It's mostly hormonal
Keep in mind that your body is still adjusting to all the changes it has gone through in the past few weeks. Your hormones are playing havoc and part of the reason you feel like crying all the time has nothing to do with your baby.
Biology plays quite an important role during postnatal days so take things one day at a time. Everything is not 100% in your hands.
3. Find a few good mum friends
Be it at the clinic, yoga class or at the mall, expecting mothers form a special bond where ever they meet. But that doesn't mean they're all going to be your BFFs after the birth too.
Keep your new mum group limited to 3-4 ladies who have a similar approach to parenting as you do. Share your problems and listen to theirs. This way you'll know you're all in the same boat.
4. There's no such thing as a bad mother
Babies get rashes —they even get hurt sometimes and they cry (for some reasons unknown) — that doesn't mean you're a bad mother.
Parenting isn't a contest so stop being so self-critical about your actions. Learn from your mistakes and make a change that will prevent the problem and guilt next time.
5. Give yourself some time out
You won't be any good for your child if you're depressed, tired and frustrated.
Create a balance in your life by taking some time out. Go for a hair appointment, take a bubble bath, energise with some yoga or exercise.
Don't berate yourself for having a good time without your child, you deserved every bit of it.
6. Have fun with your baby
Spend as much quality time as you can with your baby, allowing yourself to be in the moment. Seeing your little one conquer a new milestone will remind you of the good job you're doing.
7. Be decisive
You may be new at this but you know what's best for your child so listen to your gut and don't back off. You're probably the only person who spends every waking hour with the newborn so learn the baby cues and practise going with your gut.
Forcing yourself into a parenting method that fits all is just going to make things difficult for you.